Yesterday I did something radical. I took a day of leave just to go shopping and spend time with a friend. I’ve never done that before. It was awesome and I totally recommend it. My brain took a nice deep breath, but my eyes were still on alert and I noticed a lot of things.
Firstly, weekdays between 11 am and 4 pm must be ‘stare at those who are mildly different’ day for the elderly. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m not normally one to notice such things. I’m way too happy in my own little world, but yesterday, every white haired person seemed to look my way with a puzzled expression. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s some new equal opportunity for your eyesight scheme that I’ve yet to hear of, or maybe my flatmate had written something on my head that only the over 80s could see. Regardless, I really wanted to do a little dance for their enjoyment.
Secondly, everyone assumes that my friend is also my carer. She must be. She is able-bodied and I am not. This is the only logical conclusion one can draw from the situation. But really, it’s okay, especially if that conclusion provides her with a cheaper movie ticket at ‘carers’ prices. This assumption can have its advantages, as do accessible car parks. Your friends will love you for it.
Thirdly, people who dawdle in shopping centres annoy me. It is impatient of me, I know, but they just do. I should have more patience, but I have somewhere to go and I just want to get there. Tell you what? I’ll lend you my old chair and we can race. I’ll still beat you, but at least you’ll get to your destination before next year. If they happen to have a walking frame, resist the primal urge and take evasive action. Disabled or not, you’ll still look mean.
When in supermarkets, it’s still advisable to make the most of the wide aisles and 80s music. Pretend that it’s one big game of dodgem cars. The trolleys are your opponent. Chase or race your friend through the aisles. Be sure to slow down when people look at you strangely, and smile as though you didn’t mean it and don’t get out much. Onlookers will believe you. Sing loudly to random parts of the instore music - just because you can. Everyone could and should. The supermarket chains should start a campaign. ‘Sing for your supper’. It would be like the musical episode of Buffy, only with dancing tomatoes. My point is … actually I don’t have one that’s disability related. Sorry, I just really like supermarkets. Don’t forget to take a jumper for the frozen section. Its still freezing.
When clothes shopping, it’s best to take a friend who has similar proportions to yourself. As the size of change rooms is still an issue for the average wheelchair, this way she can try on the clothes and you can see if you like them. Very handy and appreciated.
The thing my day away from the ‘disability world’ most reassured me of, was that I am the same weird, quirky person whether I am at work or at play. I‘m kinda ambidextrous like that.
20 November 2009
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